


Silently Dreaming

by IAmEnough



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Fluff, High School, LGBTQ, M/M, Selectively Mute Castiel (Supernatural), trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-10-29 07:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17803733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmEnough/pseuds/IAmEnough
Summary: ‘I didn’t TELL him anything. I can’t fucking speak, dipwad.’ Cas signed angrily and was greeted with a smack on the face. “You must have forgotten your place. So let’s play a game, If Dean doesn’t text back until midnight you’re off the hook. He texts back before then and things for you will be a bit more.. Harsh. Bonus points if it’s a protective text! Then I’ll show you who you really belong to.”And then it dinged. And dinged. And dinged. Cas just closed his eyes and prayed he was asleep.‘Cas you okay? Kinda left me on opened..’‘Unless it's not you?’‘I stg if you’re in trouble right now..’This is a Sabriel/Destiel fic but it mainly focuses on Destiel.





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Dean Winchester to the office, Dean Winchester to the office.” The PA system blared and Dean slowly got up out of his chair walking down. 

 

“Sir, I swear whatever it is I didn-” He began and saw the Principal standing next to another student who had his head facing his shoes. “Dean this is Castiel Novak, he is new and I wanted you to show him around for the next few days. What was it that you didn’t do?” He asked and Dean stuck his hands in his pockets. “Nothing, I just didn’t know what I was down for. Normally it’s never a good thing seeing you,” He said with a grin and looked at the boy. 

 

“Come on then, I’ll walk you around a bit and help you find your locker okay?” He asked and Castiel nodded following him into the hallway. 

 

“Welcome to Truman high, I’m Dean, and coming up on your left is where the lunchroom is. Two doors down to that is a trophy case for whatever it is this school does again, and bathrooms.” He said imitating a tour guide and looked at the boy walking backwards down the hallway. “You don’t talk much do you Cas?” He said without realizing it and added on to it. “I’m gonna call you Cas if that’s okay with you, Castiel is just so long and formal.” 

 

‘Cas’ Raised his head a bit and nodded with a slight smile to indicate it was okay before pulling out notecards and scribbling on one. ‘I’m mute by the way. Selective mute but still. That’s why I’m quiet, I hope you won’t think I dislike you because I don’t talk.’ it read and Dean nodded after reading it. 

 

“Good to know.” He said and turned back around to see where they were at. “Over there is the detention room where I spend an ungodly amount of time, Apparently teachers think I have more of a mouth than I should.” He said with a grin continuing their little trip. He looked towards Cas for any approval in his humor and beamed when he got a smile at the comment. 

 

“Well I think I’ve shown you about everything and we only have ten minutes left of school. Not enough time for class but enough for a mini round of twenty questions.” Dean said two hours after aimlessly wandering the huge school. 

 

Cas tilted his head confused, wondering how Dean had already forgotten that he was mute. ‘Do you know ASL?’ Dean signed shocking him just a little. He nodded and took his hands out of his pockets. ‘Yes.’ ‘Yay.’ 

 

‘Any siblings?’ Dean signed and Cas nodded. ‘Yes but the only ones that live at home are Lucifer and Gabriel. You?’ 

 

‘Little brother. Speaking of which there he is.’ Dean signed and motioned for Sam to come over. “Hey Sammy, How was school?” He asked and Cas smiled. “It was really good! There was a new kid named Gabriel and he’s in my class! I didn’t get to show him around today, but he sits next to me so that’s okay.” Sam rambled, clearly happy about his new classmate. “Right sorry I should introduce myself to him shouldn’t I?” Sam shook his head and asked motioning to Cas. 

 

“Probably, He’s mute though so he can’t talk to answer back though.” Dean said and Sam nodded. “I’m Sam Winchester and that’s my brother Dean.” Cas smiled and signed something to Dean, asking if he knew this Gabriel’s last name. 

 

“Hey Sam, was this Gabriel’s last name Novak by any chance?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “Yeah, why?” “You just met his brother Castiel.” Dean laughed and scribbled something on a notecard before shoving it in Cas’s hands. “I’ve gotta roll, text me sometime.” He said and walked with Sam to the impala. 


	2. Texting Can Be Dangerous

Dean laid in his bed, staring at his phone which was set on a nightstand. Please just ding, just once? He almost prayed for it to turn on. Until the phone rang, killing all hopes. He picked it up and held it to his ear, halfway hoping Cas had somehow decided to speak. “Dean I need you to lock up the house, I won’t be back for a few days.” John’s gruff voice said and Dean nodded, even though John couldn’t see it.

You’ll notice he had said house, not hotel room. That’s because this time they had been able to find a smaller, cheap rental house.

“Yes sir. Anything else?” Dean finally said, getting up and wandering around the house, blindly locking all doors and windows. “Watch out for Sammy.” He said and hung up. “Goodnight to you to dad.” Dean muttered setting the phone down and going to the living room.

 

The next morning when Dean woke up, he stood in the hallway outside of Sam’s room. He knocked on the door loudly until Sam yelled “IM UP IM UP!!” Earning Dean a grin. “Be ready in fifteen.” 

 

Once at school, Dean checked his phone. Which lead him to seeing that Cas HAD messaged him, an hour after he had fallen asleep. 

 

‘Hi.. This is Dean’s number right?’  _ sent at 1:12 _

 

Dean cursed and typed a response

 

‘That would be correct. Sorry I didn’t answer sooner, family issues.’  _ sent at 8:20  _

 

Dean stared at the phone and almost immediately the typing bubble came up. 

 

‘Are you seriously texting me at school? Is that even allowed?’ 

Dean read it and typed another line of text into the bar. 

 

‘Maybe I am, Maybe it isn’t.’ 

 

He stuffed the phone in his pocket and went to math class, taking a seat and looking around. There he saw Cas, notebook open and filled with scribbles. 

 

How could he text me AND take notes? Dean wondered and soon after the class was over, went to Castiel and asked him if he had his phone. 

 

When Cas shook his head no and signed that his dad had taken it from him around twelve last night Dean looked confused. 

 

Cas went home that day with a million thoughts running through his head. He went to where he knew his adoptive dad would be. After Chuck kinda gave him, Gabriel, and Lucifer the boot someone had taken them in. 

 

‘Did you text someone on my phone?’ He signed quickly, summoning all the courage he could. 

 

“Hm.. Actually I believe I did. Dean, was it? Say why would you have his number anyways?” He said and Cas shifted weight from one foot to the other. 

 

‘School project.’ 

 

“Don’t lie Castiel. Clearly the boy has no care for school. He ditched class to text me back after all.” As if on cue the phone dinged again with a new message from Dean. 

 

‘Ever find out why your old man pretended to be you and text me? Which is a bit creepy not gonna lie..’ The message read and Cas felt all color drain from his face. 

 

“Not a very nice attitude he has.” He said before typing back. ‘I’m sure it was all just protection. He might not want me just texting random strangers.’ He had sent back. 

 

When Dean opened that message, he did feel a bit hurt. Random stranger? ‘C’mon Cas, don’t be this way. I’m not just a random stranger. Look I’ll prove it, I’m Dean You’re Castiel (but I like to call you Cas), You’re a selective mute and you showed me around the school the other day. Oh and you have a few brothers but only Gabriel and Lucifer live with you.’ He sent and Cas took a shaky breath. 

 

“Just tell him everything why don’t you?” He threw the phone and stood over Cas. “This Dean is suggesting that you two are on a more comfy level. Telling him about your family? You know that’s not allowed. AND he calls you Cas! Not Castiel, JUST CAS! Nicknames boy? Really?” 

 

‘I didn’t TELL him anything. I can’t fucking speak, dipwad.’ Cas signed angrily and was greeted with a smack on the face. “You must have forgotten your place. So let’s play a game, If Dean doesn’t text back until midnight you’re off the hook. He texts back before then and things for you will be a bit more.. Harsh. Bonus points if it’s a protective text! Then I’ll show you who you really belong to.” 

 

And then it dinged. And dinged. And dinged. Cas just closed his eyes and prayed he was asleep. 

 

‘Cas you okay? Kinda left me on opened..’ 

‘Unless its not you?’

‘I stg if you’re in trouble right now..’ 

 

As Cas listened to him read off the messages, he felt his heart sink. He knew Dean didn’t know but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. 


	3. Gabriel

When Cas walked into school the next day, He felt a different type of numb. Not physical, although he felt that too, but more psychological. Like the person he’d trusted and felt safe around unknowingly caused him pain.

 

Dean saw Cas and went up to him. “Are you okay? You look a little off. Did I do something wrong?” 

 

Castiel just stared at the floor and brushed it away, signaling that it was fine. Dean watched as he turned a corner and went into a different hall and walked off. 

 

So was it something I did? He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the messages to see if he had sent something that might’ve been mistaken for a hurtful comment. 

 

Nope, seem- His thoughts were interrupted when Sam practically slammed into him. “Hey!” He said in surprise and pushed him off. “Get off me man,” He said and Sam pointed at the boy running up beside him. 

 

“He hurt Gabriel!” Sam managed to get out and the boy stood. “This your brother?” Dean gave the kid a nod. “Explain yourself.” 

 

“Oh. I’m Crowley, Your brother here was just bugging me, so I pushed him.” He tried to explain and Dean narrowed his eyes. “Three seconds to run.” Crowley took the warning and beelined across the hall. 

 

“Let’s go find Gabriel.” Sam lead him into the locker room and they were met with a crumpled up Gabriel. “Cas?” Gabriel asked staring at the blurry figure. “I’m Dean, Should I go get Cas?” A nod. Dean looked at Sam, “I’ll be right back.” 

 

Dean ran into Cas’s class and knocked on the door. “Can I borrow Castiel a moment?” He asked and when he was excused met out in the hallway with him. 

 

Cas began signing something sort of upset and Dean just grabbed his hands and shook his head. “Gabriel.” He said breathlessly and in an instant the two were running back to the locker room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is short I am sorry I will update later today


	4. Hospital

 

 

Cas went up to Gabriel (who was currently lying next to Sam) and almost immediately dropped to his knees. 

 

‘Take off your shirt.’ He signed to Gabriel who seemed to understand. He did so after a moment and turned to let him view the damage. “Hospital. Now.” Castiel finally muttered, shocking Sam and Dean. His voice was more gravelly and hoarse, probably due to the not speaking for extended periods of time. 

 

“Yes. Yes okay let’s go, we can take my car.” Dean finally said and looked at the Sam and Cas. “Can you two bring him to the back entrance? It isn’t too far from here. I’ll bring the car up.” He said and when greeted with a nod he dashed out of the big doors. 

 

He unlocked his car in record time and slid in, shoving the key in and pulling out quickly driving to the doors where Sam and Cas were supporting Gabriel. He helped them get in the car and peeled off to the hospital with an array of thoughts in his head, the loudest thought wondering about his voice. 

 

He hadn’t expected such an angelic yet so rough voice to belong to Castiel, but at the same time it was a voice he would do most anything to hear again. 

 

Later, Once Gabe had been admitted into a room with doctors checking out the damage, the three sat in a waiting room. Sam had found a pen and small piece of paper and was drawing endless lines in attempts to calm himself, Castiel sat staring blankly at the hallway where his brother was being kept in, and Dean was inwardly debating whether or not to question the sudden break of silence. He decided to instead ask a different question, given he figured he had answered for fear of his brother’s life. 

 

“Okay I’ll bite. When did you last speak?” He asked carefully wording it so it hopefully wouldn’t come off as rude, and was greeted with a solemn face and a few quick hand gestures that read as ‘Four weeks ago.’ He must really be worried.. Is being in a hospital a trigger for him? He looked at his hands for any fidgeting or extreme stillness. 

 

“I’m going to walk around a bit, anyone care to join me?” He asked and Cas practically leapt up before his face revealed he felt instant guilt. “It’s okay, only five minutes. This could take another four hours.” He tried to reassure him and it seemed to work because he nodded slowly and followed him. 

 

“You don’t seem too fond of the place, something wrong?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded. ‘Yes, well no, well,’ He kept alternating between signs and Dean stopped him. “It’s okay, whatever you say stays between us.” 

 

‘My dad isn’t the best parent of all time. There was one time when I was seven where I broke my arm and the school nurse took me to the hospital. When I went home that night, he wasn’t exactly thrilled. I’m paranoid of going to hospitals to this day.’ He signed, finger spelling out the words there weren’t signs for. 

 

“God.. Cas I’m sorry.” He said after a moment and he shrugged. “Wanna see if there are any updates on Gabriel?” Cas nodded and they walked back the same time a nurse called for them. “Nothing life threatening, a few bruised ribs and a minor concussion though.” She informed them and Cas let out a shaky breath of relief. 

 

**L A T E R**

 

“Gabriel has to stay the night here, Sam would you want to stay here for the night and keep him company? I can take Cas home and we can bring clothes later and stuff.” When they all decided on it, Dean and Cas drove to the Winchester’s place.

 

After delivering overnight bags and food, Dean turned on a tv for white noise and looked at Castiel. “We have two beds here, and one of them is my dad’s. I bet anything he doesn’t want me on it, would you be okay sleeping on the bed Sam uses? He probably wouldn’t mind.” Dean asked and Cas tilted his head confused. 

 

‘Wait if there’s two beds, and one of them is out of question, and Sam uses the other one, where do you sleep? There isn’t even a couch!’ He asked and Dean shrugged. “Insomniac here,” He began, which was partly true. Some nights he stayed up to avoid the nightmare he always got. “And when I do sleep, I sleep on the floor.” He said it as if it were nothing. 

 

‘So you just expect me to let you sleep on the floor while I hog up the bed?’ He signed in disbelief and Dean nodded. “Well that was the plan.”

 

‘I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re on the floor. Come on, that HAS to be painful. Maybe share the bed? One of us will sleep under the blanket and the other can sleep on the other side on top of that blanket with another.’ 

 

“That was a shitload to sign.” Dean said after a moment and mentally processed it. “Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Cas nodded. 

 

After they had got situated with the arrangement, Dean ended up falling asleep within the hour. The presence of his friend just soothed him, like a lullaby would. Or Hey Jude in his case. 

  
  


((part one of this,, there will be more on this later,, i didn’t write all that to just have them fall asleep,, No Its not gonna be anything super hot its just Cas spilling his guts and Dean- wHOOPS THERE GOES MY PLOT K BYE))


	5. Safe

Dean stared at the ceiling that night, unsure of if Cas was awake or not. When he heard Cas let out a small whimper, he immediately looked at him. 

 

He was curled into a small ball and his face was all scrunched up. Nightmare? His thoughts were interrupted when he realized the sounds sounded not just scared, but horrified. 

 

He turned on a light and looked at Castiel, unsure of how to wake him. He cautiously rested a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him. It worked and he began to wake up, but not the way he would’ve liked. 

 

Castiel woke up and almost immediately drew his arm away, crushing himself against the wall in which the bed was set upon. “Don’t..” he murmured and Dean nodded. 

 

“What happened?” He asked and shook his head. “That was a rude question- I meant like why are you scared of touch? That wasn’t much better. I’m bad at this and-“ He was cut off by Castiel opening his mouth to speak again. 

 

This time he cherished his voice, but hated what it was saying. 

 

“He did what to you?” Dean asked after he had explained and felt a rage begin to stir under his skin. 

 

“Be..beats me? I’m sorry I should’ve spoken louder shouldn’t I?” Cas said and dean shook his head. “No I didn’t mean I didn’t hear you I just don’t want to believe it.” 

 

“Me neither.” Cas admitted. 

 

“Don’t be scared, you’re safe here. I won’t let that happen ever again, I swear. You and Gabriel can stay here if you want, My dad is rarely home anyways.” He offered, halfway hoping he would agree and halfway telling himself not to get his hopes up. 

 

“I don’t know.. I’d have to ask Gabriel.” He said honestly and Dean nodded. 

 

“Okay, Just know the doors are always open.” A lie, really. Dean always closed and locked the doors on the nights Sam wasn’t staying at a friends house and John was gone. 

 

“Thank you,” Cas said after a moment and made eye contact with Dean, Something that he struggled to do normally but executed so easily when it was with Dean. 

 

“Your eyes are really pretty. Such a perfect shade of Blue,” Dean murmured looking at his eyes, unaware of if he had spoken the words or thought them. 

 

Castiel blushed And Dean smiled. He managed to be shy, adorable, and hot all at the same time and to be honest it was beyond belief how a human could do that. 

 

“I know we just got done discussing horrible topics, but I want to know. Can I kiss you?” Dean asked after a moment and Cas nodded slowly. 

 

“Yes..” He had nodded. Dean made him just so much better, incredibly happy and made him feel safer. Loved. 

 

When Dean kissed him it felt like something he had never felt before, But he found himself kissing back.  _ Dean tastes like pie.  _ Castiel thought and giggled a bit, before they pulled away. 

 

“Goodnight?” He asked and Dean nodded, happier. “Goodnight,” He replied.

 

He had made him so happy he had temporarily forgotten his pain, and the weight on his shoulders that came with it. He forgot that Gabriel was in the hospital, he forgot his dad clearly read from “John Winchester’s Great Parenting ™” And used it, ( **FOURTH WALL BREAK NUMBER ONE),** he forgot all his troubles and let himself sink into Dean’s arms, slowly drifting off into a much more difficult peaceful sleep.

 


	6. Return

“You’re not going to school today, just for the record. None of you are,” Dean said around 7 that next morning after Gabriel had been dismissed and they had left the hospital. 

Sam and Gabriel grinned, more happy about ditching school while Castiel looked at Dean curiously. 

 

Dean seemed to understand that Cas wanted to know where they were going and answered. “We have a few options, but because Gabriel has a few ribs outta whack, we can’t do anything super active, but because of the concussion we can’t do anything that involves like a movie screen.” He began and Sam spoke up from the backseat.

 

“We could go to the fairgrounds. That way we aren’t limited to just one thing and Gabriel can do something fun.” He said and Dean nodded. “Yahtzee.” 

 

**AT THE FAIR**

 

Once the car was parked, the group split into two groups. Sam jumped to be Gabriel’s fair buddy and Dean smiled partnering with Castiel. “We are gonna head to the mirror maze.” Gabriel said after discussing their options with the moose. 

 

They walked off and Dean turned to Cas. “What do you wanna try out first?” Castiel pointed to the swing ride, ya know the one with the swings that spun higher and higher as they circled around the tall pole that normally played music. 

 

The duo walked to the ride after exchanging money for tickets and gave their admission to get on. Once both were seated in the double seats they looked at each other and giggled. 

 

After they had finished the ride they walked to game stand where you had to shoot the clown with a water gun. Cas signed that it was rigged and Dean took it as a personal challenge. Six tries later He returned with a bear that was wearing a shirt labeled ‘I Wuv Hugz’ and handed it to him giggling. Castiel took the bear and grinned, clutching it tightly. 

 

‘Thank you Dean’ He signed and they went to another. And another. And another. Soon it was four in the afternoon and they regrouped with Sam and Gabriel, headed to the car with arms full of stuffed toys, dart guns, a giant rainbow slinky that Cas had scored Dean in skeeball, and several other assorted items. 

 

They crowded in the car after ten minutes of figuring out how the actual hell any of it would fit and began the two hour drive back. 

 

“Can we get ice cream? Pleaaaase?” Sam begged and although Dean knew he and Gabriel had been eating treats all day (figured from the candy floss lightly lining Gabriel’s mouth and the aroma of pretzel coming from Sam) He agreed. Once they were back into town, Dean asked Cas if he wanted ice cream too. 

 

“No he doesn’t, he’s weird and doesn’t like anything fun.” Gabriel teased lightly and Cas shrugged. ‘He’s right, Ice cream upsets my stomach.’ Dean took mental note and looked at Sam. 

 

“You know the way home in case you need to run back but otherwise, call me when you two are done and I’ll pick you up.” Dean instructed and handed them forty dollars. He knew it wouldn’t cost THAT much for ice cream but they’d get the joy of feeling like they had won money. 

 

“Deal. Bye Dean, Bye Cas, See ya later!” Sam said. “Bye Dean-o, Bye Cassie.” Gabriel said and they dashed into the shop. 

 

Dean drove the two blocks back home with Cas and they entered the house smiling, leaving the prizes in the car for later. 

 

“That was fun, Thanks for coming with me,” Dean began and Cas’s eyes widened as he saw a door in the hallway open. Dean followed Cas’s gaze and immediately straightened up, slipping Cas his phone and telling him that if things went south to run and text the boys to let them know not to come back until it was all clear. 

 

“Dad, I thought you were gone?” Dean said and John gave a hollow laugh and saying “Good to see you too Dean,” before coming into the light where he saw Cas. His mood changed faster than thought possible. “I got a call from the school today saying you and Sam had ditched yesterday to not show up today. I came home thinking it was something important but you were just out on a little date, weren’t you?” Dean shook his head. “It was important, just not demon important.” He explained and John raised an eyebrow. 

 

“I raised you better than this Dean. I raised you to follow orders. And I raised Sam to be better than to take after you and ditch school,” He practically spat it out and Dean’s jaw clenched. “Do NOT talk about Sam like that.” He growled. “And I certainly didn’t raise my SON to be a FAG. SKIPPING TO GO ON DATES WITH MEN? YOU DON’T DESERVE HOW NICE I AM BEING RIGHT NOW.” John yelled and stepped closer. Dean instinctively put an arm in front of Cas and John glared. “Protecting him are we? You think I’m gonna go bad on you. I’ll show you bad, I did not raise you to be-” “STOP SAYING YOU RAISED US BECAUSE YOU SURE AS HELL DIDN’T. I LET YOU SLUMP AROUND, DRAGGING US TOWN TO STATE SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER GET. BUT TRUTH IS YOU STOPPED RAISING ME WHEN I WAS FOUR, NEVER CARING FOR SAMMY BECAUSE YOU BLAME HIM FOR MOM’S DEATH.” Dean exploded and Cas knew it was time to run. 

 

John was so fueled with rage he didn’t even notice his leaving and narrowed in on Dean. “WHO DO YOU THINK SHELTERS YOU, HUH?” He pushed Dean. “WHO DO YOU THINK GOT YOU THIS FAR?” A punch. “WHO FED YOU AND SAM, WHO-” He was cut off by Dean yelling. “I DID DAD. I ALWAYS MADE SURE SAM HAD FOOD EVEN IF THAT MEANT I WOULD STEAL AND GO DAYS WITHOUT. WHO DO YOU THINK ENROLLED SAM IN SCHOOL? NOT TO MENTION MYSELF! AND IF YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING ANYTHING BUT HOLDING US BACK YOU CAN STUFF IT UP YOUR ASS.” 

 

“You’re the one who wants it up the ass aren’t you, Faggot?” John replied and Dean swung for his face, hitting it. Soon it was just an all out fight between the two, testing Dean’s strength versus John’s mass. “SHUT UP.” John got another brutal hit in before facing Dean, watching as his son’s nose bled and his eye swell shut. 

 

Eventually John walked out, presumably going to get drunk off his ass at some cheap bar and Dean allowed himself to succumb to the darkness offering shelter from the pain rushing through his body. 


	7. Bobby’s

When Dean woke up, He was in the backseat of the impala with Sam and Gabriel next to him, Cas up front driving. 

 

“Where are we going?” Dean went to say, but instead of speech he got the impact of a sore jaw and raw vocal chords. “Don’t talk, we are going to Bobby’s.” Sam instructed and Dean nodded, blacking out again as pain racked his body. 

Dean came back to reality again, this time it was as the impala slowed a few feet from Bobby’s. When Gabriel and Sam helped Dean out of the car and got him standing on his own two feet, Bobby shooed the three others inside and looked at Dean. “You look like shit,” Bobby stated after awhile and Dean laughed as best as he could, feeling the spots where he knew would be bruising later catching up to him. 

 

“Love you too, Bobby, but you should see the other guy.” He said jokingly and Bobby looked him up and down. “Who’d you idjits fight?” “Who I fought, and it was Dad. It’s fine, I deserved it. Got my head cleared or whatever.” He saw as Bobby’s face changed to an anger. “Go inside and shower, I don’t wanna see you till you get the blood off your face.” Dean nodded and walked inside, stepping in the bathroom looking at the damage. 

 

“I think i look worse than I feel,” He muttered and got a damp towel, pressing it against his eyebrow lightly. “Bitch!” He exclaimed upon seeing the light line across it that would surely scar, probably light enough to be covered by the other parts of his brow. He moved to his nose and began washing away the blood caking his face. Once he thought his face was pretty clean again he undressed and stepped into the shower, letting the lukewarm water surround him as he tried pinpointing which injury was worst and which would need attention. 

 

He found it was his shoulder when he realized it was hanging weirdly compared to his other one. Dislocated, probably my own doing. He was struck out of his thoughts when he heard a door open, immediately followed by a “Oh shit..” He chuckled. 

 

“Cas that you,” He asked, glad that this shower was a curtain shower rather than a glass framed one. “Uh.. yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were in here, I should go,” He explained and Dean practically felt the embarrassment radiating off of him. “It’s okay, I don’t bite.” He said and shrugged despite the fact Cas couldn’t see him. “And anyways talking to you is better than listening to my thoughts, AND on top of that it isn’t like you can see me.” Castiel laughed nervously and he heard a shuffling sound indicating Cas had sat down. 

 

“So how bad’s the damage?” Castiel asked and Dean shrugged. “I dunno, pretty bad I guess. Hey speaking of which can you do me a HUGE favour?” Dean asked and turned off the water, his good arm reaching out from the curtain and grabbing a towel. “That depends..” Cas answered honestly and Dean dried himself with the towel and wrapped it around his waist tightly, stepping out. “Can you help me put my shoulder into place? I would ask Sam, but I have a feeling he wouldn’t be able to do much given he hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet.” Cas shyly looked up and has to physically restrain himself from oogling him, which only made Dean grin more. “Uh yeah. Yeah okay,” He said and stood up going behind him and resting one hand on top of his collarbone and one hovering where he needed to push it. “Count of three?” He asked and Dean nodded. 

 

“One, Two,” Cas relocated it on the count of two instead and grimanced when he did. Hearing Dean’s short cry of pain felt like he had been shot. “Better?” Cas asked and Dean nodded. “Yeah,” Dean answered and smiled. 

 

“Thank you,” He said and Turned to face Cas leaving them awkwardly close to each other, given Dean was only in a towel. 

 

“You’re welcome.” Cas answered and tried to focus on making eye contact. 

 

“Hey I know I’m all busted up but I can’t be so bad you only look at my eyes,” Dean Jokes not understanding and Cas laughs. 

 

“It’s not that you’re bad.. Kinda the opposite actually,” He said and Dean felt it click. 

 

“Oh,” He grinned. “So would it make you uncomfortable if I did this?” He asked moving closer. 

 

Cas knew what he was doing. “Nope,” He said. He’s trying to make me show a response, I can’t let him win. 

  
  


“Or this?” Dean asked, putting him in a corner with enough space Cas could tap out and slip away if he wanted too. He want so much of a prick as to really corner him. 

 

Castiel felt his face heat up and he got an idea. He instead slipped out and cornered Dean, taking control. 

 

“Or I could do this,” Castiel said and Dean was forced to look up at him. 

 

Castiel shrugged off his shirt and Dean inwardly panicked, hoping the towel would cover his new problem. 

 

Cas grabbed his shirt and looked him up and down. He then began walking to the door, winking at the very flustered dean as he did. 

 

“Not fair!” Dean whined like a child and Cas scoffed. “At least I have pants on,” He said and Dean smiled, glad that he’d gotten Cas talking for awhile. 

 

“True, Alright get out I gotta get dressed,” Dean said and laughed as Cas put on the shirt and left. 


	8. Morning Warmth

 

Dean walked down the hallway to the den later that night, which was where everyone seemed to be huddled up at the moment. He plopped down next to Cas and the room went silent. 

 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” He asked, unconsciously reaching his hand against his face and drawing it away quickly when he remembered. “Oh.” Was all he managed to say. 

 

“Sleeping arrangements, Bobby said he doesn’t want to have to step over us so we need to get rooms. There are three spare rooms, One bed in each.” Sam finally said to break the heavy silence that filled the air. 

 

“I guess you three could all have the rooms and beds and stuff and I’ll just drag an extra chair into someone’s room.” Dean said and shrugged and Cas looked at him as if in shock that he would even say that and Sam and Gabriel just leapt up, racing to pick the best room not waiting for Dean to change his mind. “YOU CAN’T ROOM WITH ME! NOT IT!” Gabriel yelled and Sam dashed into his new room and yelled “NOT IT!” followed by a “Sorry Castiel,” That could be heard from the den. 

 

Dean stood up and helped Cas up. “Alright, you go get settled and move the bed however you want and I’ll go find a chair.” He said and Cas shook his head before hesitating and speaking again. He’s spoken a lot today, Dean thought. 

 

“No, You’re injured. There’s no way you are sleeping in some crappy wooden chair.” “Hey It wouldn’t be the first time.” Dean argued. 

  
  


“We could try and share the bed like the other night?” Cas suggested and Dean thought about it before shaking his head. “It’s too small, we’d end up curled next to each other like lost dogs.” 

 

But that’s what they did and how they ended up within the next thirty minutes, Cas spooning Dean in a twin bed. And Dean, much to his surprise, didn’t hate it. He actually liked it, a lot. 

 

“Thank you Cas,” Dean mumbled and Cas smiled. “Anytime,” 

  
  


**T H A T N E X T M O R N I N G**

 

When Cas got up, he found Dean wasn’t in the room anymore. He walked to the kitchen and rubbed his eyes. “Mornin’ Cas! Pancake?” Dean offered sliding a plate of blueberry pancakes on the counter. 

 

“Thanks.” He took a bite of one and looked up in surprise. “Did you make these?”  

 

“Sure did.” He said proudly and smiled. “So Bobby left for work, Sam and Gabriel are exploring Sioux Falls, so that means it’s just us two today. We have all day but for now,” Dean began and moved a button on his music speaker. “Dance with me?” He asked shyly and Cas stood up, walking around with Dean to an open space. 

 

“Wise men say… Only fools rush in…” The song drifted through the air and Dean and Castiel’s movements matched, slowly finding the tune enough to let it carry them. “But I.. can’t.. help, falling in love with you…” Elvis sang out and Dean met eye contact with Cas, the both of them leaning their heads in so they touched. Seconds later the two were standing in the kitchen under the sun lit room, warmth spreading in from the window, slow dancing and kissing gently to Elvis. It was a perfect world. 

  
  
  


For now, anyways.  


	9. Game

Dean pulled away slowly, wanting to linger on Cas’s lips for awhile longer but deciding to breathe instead. “God Cas…” He murmured and stared at him, taking in the messy hair and perfect eyes. “You’ve got me wound so tightly around your finger and you don’t even know.” 

 

“Did I do something wrong?” Castiel asked softly, fear biting at his voice. “You did nothing wrong.” Dean promised him and shook his head. “Alright you finish breakfast, I gotta go change the dressing on my side.” He said excusing himself and walking to the bathroom, hastily pushing the door shut and going to the mirror. 

 

He stared at his reflection for a moment, words that John had said his whole life bleeding into his ears.  _ No son of mine is gay.  _ He ripped his gaze away from the mirror and yanked off his shirt, trying to steady his breathing which had increased tremendously. He tried to take the taped dressing off and hissed in pain when it pulled at his skin, reopening the wound. 

 

_ Fag can’t even take care of a simple bandage.   _ Dean heard what John would say surrounding him.  _ Take a little pain, boy!  _ He grit his teeth and let out a small, anguished cry as he ripped the bandage halfway off. He was so caught up in his mind that he didn’t hear Cas come in. He saw Castiel kneel next to him and he felt himself crumble down and break. “I can’t-” Dean sobbed and Castiel slowly began taking it off properly and switching a new one. “I know, It’s okay. Sometimes we just need a little help.” Cas tried to comfort him and Dean shook his head, eyes bleary. “I can’t keep doing this Cas. I’m tired, I’m tired of all of it. I can’t keep getting attached to people, can’t get attached to you.” 

 

“Why not?” “Because Cas.. I’m not supposed to like guys. I’m not supposed to stay in one place for more than a month at a time, not supposed to let Sammy just wander off.. Dad-” Dean began and this time when Cas hugged him he accepted it. 

 

“Let me fix you,” Castiel murmured and kissed him. It was like everything Dean was fighting.. Vanished at the touch of Cas and he felt new emotions flood in. Safety, happiness, warmth. Dean kissed back, more passionately this time. “I just realized, we never finished our little game did we?” He asked and bit his lip. “First one to get flustered loses.” 

 

Cas nodded. “Any other rules?” Dean asked and Castiel gave a devilish grin. “Three. Number one, This game stays between the two of us, no outsiders. Number two, Remember you are allowed to tap out if you think it’s too far. But once you do tap out, or react, you lose. Number three, Anything is allowed.” 

 

“This is gonna be fun.” 

 

**THAT NIGHT**

 

When Dean went into his and Cas’s room that night, he about had a heart attack. 

 

Cas was just casually laying on the bed, towel wrapped lose around his Waist, watching something that by the sounds of it didn’t exactly sound PG. 

 

“Oh hey Dean,” He said casually and Dean knew keeping a poker face was going to be a hell of a lot harder than he thought it would be. 

 

“Cas.. Cas are you..” Was all he managed to say before Cas nodded. 

 

“Yup. Good really, you should come watch it with me.” 

 

“I uh, Can’t.” Dean said and started walking backwards to the door. “Uh, I have a thing with the thing, it’s-“ He dashed out and Cas laughed. “I DIDN’T BLUSH!” He yelled from the hallway and Cas shrugged. “Maybe you didn’t, but that was a close call. Plus you are somewhat- Reacting.” He worded it carefully and Dean groaned. 

 

“God Cas. That’s low.” He said and shifted so the said reaction wouldn’t show as much. 

 

“No limits remember?” 

 

Dean got an idea. “Poor innocent little Cas, counting on the fact I wouldn’t watch with him.” He began and went back in. 

  
  


He laid next to Cas, pressing against his hips with his and watching the TV. 

 

“Must be a little awkward, having your own plans backfire on you.” Dean said and Cas knew he was gonna lose if he didn’t change something. 

 

Cas felt Dean pressing against his towel and slowly reached for the remote changing it to Mickey Mouse. 

 

“Unless we change the environment-“ Cas said and giggled. 

 

“Dude how did you keep a poker face the whole time?” Dean asked in awe and Cas shrugged. “I dunno.” He pushed himself so Dean was spooning him and smiled. “Goodnight,”

((Hehehe this is funny so I’m gonna include this but- 

Cas- Would you like to ‘Netflix and chill with me? 

Dean- Do you know what that means? 

Cas- yES sam told me it means watching Netflix and relaxing 

Dean- no it means watching Netflix and having sex 

Cas- 

Cas- My offer still stands))


	10. Waters

“EWWWW!” Sam and Gabriel shrieked the next morning when they had busted into their room, fully intending to wake them up early and nag them about taking them somewhere. Dean looked up groggily and bolted up. “DID YOU GUYS FUCK?” Gabriel yelled and Dean made the urgent SHH motion. “Number one, No we did not. Number two SHUT UP! Bobby can’t know we slept in the same bed! Number three, what the hell are you two doing in here?” Dean asked and Sam shrugged.

 

“Chill, Nobody else is home. Just us.” Sam assured him and Dean nodded. “Good.”

“So, Dean-o, Mind taking us somewhere today? Walking to the same few blocks every day is getting a little boring.” Gabriel asked and Dean shrugged. “I guess,” He began and heard Cas slowly start sitting up. “Don’t panic, we have company.” Dean warned him and he nodded. If Sam and Gabriel hadn’t been in their room at that moment, he would have looked at Cas’s messy hair and beautiful features much longer. But they were, so he looked back at the two.

 

Dean stood up and his jaw dropped when he found Sam had grown a solid inch since yesterday. “You gotta stop growing, you are younger than me AND neck and neck with me.” Dean said and ruffled his hair to annoy him. “You wish.” Sam stuck his tongue out.

 

“Get ready, you have until Cas is dressed before we walk out of the door.” Dean instructed and shooed them out, closing the door. When he turned to face Castiel he saw he was already standing and grinning.

 

“The danger duo decided they wanted to go out today. It’s up to you though,” Dean informed him and he nodded. “I think i wanna go.” Castiel said and Dean found himself hanging over his voice. “Okay, Maybe put on a shirt.” Dean finally said after realizing he still wasn’t fully dressed. He had changed into sweatpants, but refused the shirt and laid down until he fell asleep.

 

Castiel nodded and went to the closet, grabbing a shirt and a change of pants. Dean did the same and got an idea. He took off his shirt and as slowly as he could while looking normal, began putting on the fresh one. Cas stared at him and Dean knew he was doing everything to keep a poker face. “Don’t blush, You’ll lose.” He reminded him with a wink and changed into his pants. Cas, however, was more shy and wanted Dean to turn around. Dean nodded and did so and when given the all clear, opened the door and left.

 

Once they were walking around the mall and had broken off into groups, Castiel and Dean headed to the art supply store. Why? Well Castiel was a bit of an artist, and wanted to teach Dean how to paint. So they went in and began looking for the canvases and paints and brushes they would need. As Dean was looking at the different paints, Cas heard his phone ding and pulled it out.

 

But when he read the message, he felt all the color drain from his face.

 

To: CasNovakTheOne1@gmail.com

From: Unknown

Cc/Bcc: important

Subject: I know your secrets

———————————————

I know your secret. I know how you escaped. I know with WHO you escaped. I know your feelings for them. For him. I know his car is a ‘67 Chevy Impala, and I know his license plate on it is KAZ-2Y5. I’m watching, But I’ll let you off with some advice. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t let your guard down. See you around.

——————————————-

  
  


He clicked his phone off and shoved it in his pocket, along with his hands to hide the shakiness of them.

 

“Hey Cas, is this the right size?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded. “Okay.” Dean said and smiled. Cas managed a smile and they paid for the stuff.

  
  


Over the next few days, Cas didn’t speak much. Nor sleep, nor eat. But he was good at covering it, Making sure Dean didn’t know he wasn’t taking care of himself. He also made sure to lock his phone every night so dean couldn’t find the horrid message.

  
  


Until Dean looked at him the fourth day of this, seeing that he’d grown pale and sickly. Noticing how much effort he put into each step, noticing the ever growing purple bags under his bloodshot eyes.

 

“Cas!” Dean exclaimed and Castiel bit his lip. “Cas what are you doing?”

 

‘Going for a walk.’ Cas signed and began going to the door. “Cas you aren’t well.” Dean said and Castiel brushed by him, opening the door and stepping out, ignoring Dean’s calls for him. Dean stood at the door and decided to give him a two minute head start.

 

Castiel didn’t know how much ground he had covered in those two minutes, but he knew he was growing weaker with every step. He was so far in the distance that Dean Couldn’t see him.

 

Caster pushed through and walked faster, or as fast as he could anyways. Then he felt his foot collide with a rock, tripping him. Cas didn’t have the energy to fight it, and let himself fall like a sack of bricks, passed out before hitting the ground. His limp body began rolling clumsily downhill and he was thrown into the cold rapid waters.

 

Dean waited the two minutes and began running to find him. ‘He couldn’t have gone far,’ Dean thought knowing how worn down he was. He ran almost ¼ of a mile before realizing that Cas couldn’t have gone that far. He turned back and began looking at every corner, until he saw a rock. He mentally went through the path Cas had walked and felt his blood run cold.

 

He began walking downhill, following the trail marks Cas had left. He reaches the water and looked to the side to see Cas floating quickly and limply. Dean dove into the water and began powering himself to swim faster and at better lengths. Every time he thought he had reached Cas, he was swept away by another pull. “CAS!” He yelled, mouth filling with water. He felt the adrenaline start dimming down and exhaustion pressuring him to just stop. He eventually grabbed Cas’s ankle and pulled them to the ground. He managed to flip Cas over so the water trapped in his throat could come out and dialed 911, passing out as his finger hit the Call button.

 


	11. Lights

_Darkness. He opens his eyes_

_Bleary red and blue lights flood in his vision. Dean sees blurry figures lifting up a limp man. Who is he? Cas? CAS! He tries to reach for him and realizes he himself is being lifted into a stretcher and being taken in another ambulance. He shuts his eyes. Darkness enclosed him. He opens his eyes moments later. Doctors in blue scrubs surround him and insert tubes and medicine of various sorts in his arms. He blinks. Darkness eventually lets him sleep._

**_THREE HOURS LATER_ **

Castiel looked around his own hospital room trying to get a sense of what was happening. He went to sit up and was greeted with a horrible pain in his side and head. A doctor saw Castiel’s movement and walked over to the side of his bed. “It’s okay,” He said and Cas felt the terror of being in a hospital seize him. “It’s okay. Can you remember your name?” The doctor asked and Cas nodded, Finger spelling it to let the doctor know he wasn’t in a verbal state.

 

After ten minutes of mini tests the doctor finally went to leave before Cas stopped him by rapping on the bed loudly. He then scribbled down on a nearby paper the words ‘Where’s my friend?’ And handed it to him. “Oh, You must mean Dean. He’s okay, just has hyponatremia. Also known as when sodium in blood becomes diluted, often a side effect of drinking too many liquids.” The doctor explained and Cas felt his face pale.

 

Side effects of Hyponatremia often included headaches, organ failure, comatose states, the list goes on for awhile.

 

Dean woke up in a coughing fit, puking the water that filled his lungs out onto the hospital bed. He looked around the room quickly, making mental notes of where to leave at and everything. There’s tools over there.. Is this.. “Where’s Cas?” Dean asked immediately as the doctor from earlier walked in and he chuckled. “Funny that the first thing the both of you ask about is each other.”  Dean felt a little hurt, wondering if that meant Cas had talked to a stranger immediately. It had taken Dean awhile to get Cas talking to him and he just, spoke?

  


“WHERE’S CAS?” Dean repeated, this time louder. “He’s in another room down the hall, he’s fine.” Dean shook his head. “He doesn’t like hospitals. I have to go see him.” Dean insisted.

 

“No, You don’t. Not until we are done with testing and make sure you aren’t in fatal condition.” The doctor said firmly and Dean sighed.

 

“Am I Good now doc? I feel fine.” Dean said, lying through his teeth. The truth was his stomach hurt, a lot. Probably from overfilling with the unclean water.

 

“Nope. Feeling fine is normal with these things,” The doctor said and Dean thought of an idea. “Can he be transferred in my room? This room is kinda big.” He said and the doctor considered it before walking out in the hallway to talk about it with the nurses.

 

Eleven long minutes later Cas was wheeled in.

 

Dean smiled gently and leaned back, feeling the huge pressure be lifted off of him and he was able to relax.

The doctors left and A nurse looked at Dean and then at Cas and went “Oh,” Really softly under her breath and she smiled.

 

“What’s oh?” Dean asked curiously and she shrugged. “I just realized something.”

 

“That something being?”

 

“You’re… Together aren’t you?” She asked and Cas blushed.

 

“Well it’s not official, yet. But one day hopefully.” Dean said and Cas nodded.

 


	12. Why don’t you love me back

 

After being dismissed from the hospital, Cas drove Dean home in silence.

 

Dean had insisted he was okay, but Castiel knew better and took control of the responsibilities like Driving.

 

“Cas?” Dean asked after a few minutes and Castiel nodded to let him know it was okay.

 

“The doctor said you asked about me right away, Did you speak to them?” Dean asked and immediately felt guilt over asking such an accusing question.

 

Castiel bit his lip before answering. “Not really.. I wrote to them.” Dean silently exhaled, as much as his lungs allowed him to, and he nodded. “Okay. Hey, Thanks for driving me.” Dean said and Cas nodded.

 

“Anytime.” Dean pulled out his phone and began to scroll through his messages.

 

‘Where are you?’

From Sam- 1:30 AM, Tuesday

 

‘Dean? Are you with Cas? Gabriel said he didn’t know where he was either.’

From Sam- 3:00 AM, Tuesday

 

‘I’m getting worried, Bobby is asking where you are. Are you okay?’

From Sam- 4:38 AM, Wednesday

 

‘Dean answer me, I’m doing that thing where I overthink everything and it’s starting to lead to a panic attack. Please answer.’

From Sam- 5:00 AM, Thursday

 

Four missed calls from Sam

14+ texts from Sam

 

Dean stared at his phone and realized nobody had known where they were the past several days. He then decided to call Sam.

 

“Sam?” Dean said once the phone connected and he heard a sigh of relief followed by a gasp.

 

“DEAN WHERE ARE YOU I WAS FUCKING WORRIED?!” Sam yelled through the phone and dean held it away from his ear.

 

“Woah, okay number one, Language. Two, Hospital. I’m on my way back now, should be there in five minutes.” Dean said.

 

“Fine. Why didn’t you at least answer me?”

 

Dean’s heart sank and he tried to talk. “I uh, I.. I wasn’t allowed to.. I wasn’t allowed to have my phone in the hospital.” He finally spat out and breathed. “Look I’ll talk to you when I get back.” Dean hung up.

 

A seemingly impossibly long four minutes later

 

Dean and Castiel got out of the car and Sam ran to them.

 

“What happened?” Sam exclaimed and Dean stared in shock a moment.

 

“How did you grow two inches that fast?” He marveled.

 

“Doesn’t matter. What the fu- Hell happened.”

 

Dean rubbed his neck. “I went to find Cas and i guess I didn’t come up for air on time and drowned a bit?”

 

“So this is your fault.” Sam fumed at Castiel and Cas looked hurt.

 

“What?” They both said and Sam narrowed his eyes.

 

“If you hadn’t gone missing, Dean wouldn’t have went looking and he wouldn’t have been hospitalized! This is YOUR FAULT!” Sam exclaimed, trying to make sense of things and stormed back inside, where Gabriel was standing waiting for him to come talk.

 

“Woah okay listen-“ Dean began and was cut off. “He’s right.” Cas said and Dean looked at him slightly hurt himself.

 

“What? You can’t mean that.”

 

“I do. Ever since I’ve stuck around you, bad things have happened. First John, then you get hospitalized, what’s next? Someone gonna crash a car? Is Bobby or Sam is Gabriel gonna get sucked into this mess? Is Crowley gonna act up again?” Castiel began and Dean shook his head softly.

 

“Stop this,”

 

“Dean I’m sorry..”

 

“Don’t you do this. Take it back right now.” Dean said, voice cracking softly.

 

“Can’t you see? I’ve caused you nothing but harm.. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

 

Dean moved closer to Castiel, eyes threatening to spill over. “Pay attention to me. I love you and would do anything I possibly can to stay with you, I will endure anything for you Okay?”

 

Cas stayed silent. “I love you okay! Please don’t do this to yourself, don’t to it to me!” Dean said louder, tears beginning to fall.

 

“Listen to me!” Dean exclaimed feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness crush him. “Why don’t you love me back..”

 

Castiel kisses Dean. “I do love you Dean. I love you more than anything in this world. I’m just scared I’ll hurt you.” He said and kissed him again, more needily than ever.

 

“It wouldn’t matter.” Dean said and pulled away for air, resting his head against Castiel’s.

 

“Dean?” “Yes?” “Will you be my boyfriend?” “Abso-fucking-lutely.”


End file.
